yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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