Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it was like eating out sand paper
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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