Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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