i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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