Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize