mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
