Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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