i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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