I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
