Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
