After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
