someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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