Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
