I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
