So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
