if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
