have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
