I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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