So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
