i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
PANTIES FOUND
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
