i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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