i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
