This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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