This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
