Welp...herpes.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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