have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
