Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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