Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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