Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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