Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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