Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
