I must be too annoying 4 u.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
