That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
