Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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