Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
