Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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