I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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