can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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