I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
