She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
a search helicopter?!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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