I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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