I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think I won the penis lottery.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
