ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
