just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
