fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize