Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
