i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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