i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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