i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
