I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
