I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
