her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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