I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
