You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
