he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
