Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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