Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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