69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so let's talk penis.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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