Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize