Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize